Parker's Realm

parker.pub ~ Ye Olde Homepage ~ Netscape Navigatorr

★ WELCOME TRAVELER!!! ★ thou hast found PARKER'S REALM ★ sign ye olde guestbook ★ GOLEMHEIM is being forged in the dwarven mines ★ do NOT open the chest in my top 8 ★ this site is optimized for Netscape Navigator 4.0 ★ join the GOLEMHEIM DISCORD ★ no dragons were harmed in the making of this webpage ★

⚔ Parker ⚔

a.k.a. Canonheim

Class

Golem Wrangler

Guild

Golemheim Studios

Alignment

Chaotic Good

Status

● questing

Mood

caffeinated

Contacting Parker

🐦 Send Raven

Character Sheet

STR

can lift a sword

DEX

fast at ctrl+z

CON

coffee-dependent

INT

knows what a shader is

WIS

buys domains at 2am

CHA

it's the plume

♫ Now Playing ♫

The Buskers - Tavern Skank (8-bit)

00:00

performed live by a very small bard inside thy computer

Parker's Interests

General

swords, golems, fishing, making games, ska

Music

The Buskers. anything with a bari sax in it.

Games

whichever one i am currently making

Heroes

whoever invented the <marquee> tag

Fears

chests

Blinkies

Thy Daily Fortune

the runes are warming up...

a new fortune each day. the wizard is very busy.

Visitors

thou art visitor number

------

since the year of our lord 2026
(each traveler counted once a day)

About Me

hail and well met!! welcome 2 my realm.

i'm Parker and i make video games. right now i am forging GOLEMHEIM, a medieval melee game. there are swords. there are golems. there is a truly unreasonable amount of fishing. it is very much under construction.

this page is also under construction. it will always be under construction. that is the way of things.

if u like the page plz sign my guestbook and tell all ur friends. if u don't like the page, the mimic will see u now.

Ye Olde News

2026-10-23: bought parker.pub. made this page. it is perfect and i will never change it.
2026-10-23: my buddy has a page at luke.pub and it is about aliens. mine is about wizards. the pub wars have begun.
2026-08-24: opened the Golemheim Discord. come hang out, we have channels.
2026-08-24: founded Golemheim Studios. the studio is me. i am the studio.

Parker's Party (Top 8)

Golembest friend. heavy.
Gorbostole my lunch
Emberdo not feed
Skelly Timbad to the bone
Geraldcaught him once
The Bardplays in The Buskers
Wizzospell-checks my site
Treasure!!totally a chest

Parker has 9 party members. (Tom the Tavernkeeper is in everyone's party.)

Quest Log

Quest	Status	Progress
Forge GOLEMHEIM	in progress
Make the worst homepage on the internet	COMPLETE
Slay the Bug Dragon	eternal
Catch every fish	obsessed
Get The Buskers a record deal	they're imaginary

Cool Links

⚔ The Golemheim Discord ~ the official tavern
👽 luke.pub/zone ~ my buddy's alien zone. worthy rival.
📜 The Wayback Machine ~ ancient scrolls
✨ GifCities ~ the great gif library
🏰 Neocities ~ where homepages live forever

Sign Ye Olde Guestbook

xX_GoblinSlayer_Xx ~ 2026-10-23

first!!!!!!1 cool site dude. love the fire

Skelly Tim ~ 2026-10-23

i have no body to love but i love this page

a chest ~ 2026-10-23

come closer

Tom the Tavernkeeper ~ 2026-10-23

thanks for joining the realm! i'm in your party now. i'm in everyone's party.